Hello and welcome to the first day of your new life! Are you down on your luck? Bills piling up?
Looking to make some fast cash? Tired of getting turned down by all the fly honies who just wanna
get with that rich Turkish bastard and his foreign accent? Then my friend, the fast-paced and action
packed lifestyle of the Terrorist Reserves is for you!



In the Terrorist Reserves we will teach you all of
the skills that you will need to succeed in the
real world! At the front of the war on freedom,
you will be using the utmost in high-tech
equipment. As a Communications Al-Specialist, you
could be trained on anything from radios to
camcorders.

Let's talk Turkey here. It's true we don't have
health care. That's not because we are cruel.
There just isn't much call for it, since the
majority of our troops are suicide bombers. So
instead of health-care, we have opted for a great
Death Benefits Package. Among other things, your
family will be paid $10,000 USD tax-free. You will
be swiftly transferred to our base in heaven and
issued 72 virgins.*



Al-Qaeda at home. It sounds wonderful doesn't it?
There will be no caves for you! During Basic
Terrorist Camp, you will be stationed at
one of our many locations. Visit places you've always wanted to see, such as Aghanistan and
Pakistan. Any 'stan you could ever hope to visit -- we are there. You will be living in some
of the finest tents, the world over. Just another example of your neighbour's drug money at
work. After your training period, you will return home and only be required to attend drill
periods two weeks per year.



So, if you want to earn a good salary from your
home, fight for something you believe in, and get
72 Virgins*, then Join the Terrorist Reserves,
today! You won't have time to regret it!



*Dependant upon Job selection and availability.
Contact your recruiter for more details.